


Cocksure Aim

by thisislegit



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Body Image, F/M, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Slice of Life, gender euphoria, soft fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisislegit/pseuds/thisislegit
Summary: Goemon gets shot in the worst place possible, and the place wasn't his chest.
Relationships: Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Arsène Lupin III, Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Jigen Daisuke/Arsène Lupin III/Mine Fujiko
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Cocksure Aim

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [Twigs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwigstheShifter/pseuds/TwigstheShifter) for giving this a quick read-over! Please check out his fic and leave some comments.

The feeling was odd to say the least. Goemon had been sure the bullet struck him when he leapt out of the line of fire, but the most he'd felt was some pressure against the inside of his thigh. No pain followed. Not even a trickle of blood. His attacker seemed surprised as well, which gave Goemon enough time to disarm and send them running half clothed back to their boss. He tried to avoid needless killing as he got older. Not because of any moral compass, but because blood was a pain to remove from his clothes and his weapon, so if he were to become covered with it it better be from a worthy target.

From there he rejoined his partners as the little yellow fiat buzzed down the dirt hills to avoid capture. It was rare they'd escaped without someone getting injured, and as the bullets whizzed past the windows only to be returned by their more skilled marksman in the passenger seat, Goemon knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Lupin could be insufferable when injured insisting that he could do things he clearly could not because they'd reopen a wound. Jigen, on the other hand, would get handsy when Goemon bandaged him up. Fujiko was slightly more tolerable than the other two, but she liked to milk Goemon's patience from her desire to be waited on hand and foot. He'd like to think he was the perfect patient when hurt despite what his partners would say in objection to such a truth.

Still, shifting in his seat, he felt something was...off. He couldn't place it, and that worried him. When the sounds of chase eased to the silence, and Jigen lit a cigarette to place between Lupin's lips, Goemon knew they were in the clear for now. The drive back to the hideout was quiet save for the classical music playing from the radio, and Goemon prevented himself from arguing about the choice. At least it was softer tones instead of the loud horns and drums that would normally play.

No, it wasn’t until they arrived at the hideout -a small one story house that bore two bedrooms, a living/dining area, a kitchen, and a bathroom with a leaking shower head, that Goemon discovered the real problem. He was stripping his clothes off in the bedroom for a short rest, the loud chattering of Jigen and Lupin's rushed conversation turning into background noise, when he saw a distinct hole between the folds of his hakama. Looking down at himself, he noticed a larger hole gritty with gunpowder on his fundoshi. He had been shot. His heart froze in his chest. He'd heard Jigen talk about this once. Getting shot and not even knowing either due to adrenaline or the bullet lodging in and blocking an artery. Usually an important one. If kept in too long, some people died when it was removed. Sometimes before then even. The thought that made him take a breath was that he still didn't  _ feel _ anything. He'd have to check, and if it was bad, call for Jigen to get the first aid kit.

Taking hold of the fabric wrapped around his stomach and waist, Goemon unraveled his fundoshi as efficiently as he would if he wasn't looking a possible certain death in the face. With the final piece of fabric covering his front, he pulled it down, and his packer fell out with a thunk onto the floor. His packer which bore a dirty bullet in the shaft.

Oh.

He had no idea how he managed to shift from terror to utter embarrassment within the span of a second, but his face was already in his hands by the time he realized what happened. He'd been shot in the dick, and now he needed a new one. However, that does explain why the man who shot him was so confused. Normally people go down when shot in the genitalia, so Goemon rushing at him with a very deadly weapon after getting shot in the dick must've been terrifying.

He lifted up his packer and bent the silicone enough that the dented metal fell into his palm. The silicone of the shaft where the bullet penetrated looked as though someone try to tear strings off it but each tug came out uneven and ugly. Goemon couldn't wear this anymore. Which brought him to another issue of getting a replacement.

It'd never been his idea to get the prosthetic in the first place. He remembered making tea in a rented apartment in the states when Lupin sat his laptop down at the mottled green dining table asking about sex toys. The conversation was embarrassing, and Goemon nearly choked on his senbei at times, but Lupin was insistent Goemon pick some things in case things "got frisky". His words, not Goemon's. He acquiesced, as some of the designs did pique his curiosity enough for him to ask questions. Eventually falling down the rabbit hole of sex toy websites, who knew why there were so many in the first place, lead them to click on a tab of packers available for purchase. They looked very real, more real than the flesh toned and oversized dildos Lupin jokingly showed him earlier. Goemon asked about the toys. Lupin looked at him like he'd grown a second head, before a moment of clarity came to his unknown train of thought with an "Oh yeah, mountain hermit, you wouldn't know". Goemon denied the mountain hermit comment, but listened to Lupin explain their purpose.

_ "There's even some you can pee out of," Lupin said. _

_ "Why would I want to do that?" _

_ "So you can stand at a urinal, or go anywhere really. It's extra clean up later, but it's convenient when on the go." _

_ Goemon grew quiet at that. It was a little annoying squatting, but he personally didn't like the idea of cleaning out a urine tube either. _

_ "Do you want one?" _

_ "Well…" _

_ "They have some close to your skin tone. Darker really, it's supposed to be offset." _

_ "Uh…" _

_ "Oh, they're offering me a 20% off coupon! Combine that with free shipping for this cart and it's a steal. Interested?" Lupin was already on the drop down menu for sizes. _

_ "...I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try it." _

_ "Great! I'll get you a sixer. Big men deserve big dicks." _

_ Goemon's face was beyond warm at this point from how hard he blushed. "Those are not always in correlation with each other." _

_ "It is in this house." _

The day it came in the mail, Goemon knew the size Lupin bought was too big. He was used to how he tied his fundoshi, but now he had to fold the strap of fabric slightly different to hold things up. The first day he tried wearing it, Jigen whistled when he sat down, and Fujiko wouldn't stop giggling.

"Excited to see me, Goemon?" She'd asked while batting her eyelashes.

Goemon flushed when he'd looked down at himself, even his hakama couldn't hide the lump, and he wondered if he was wearing it wrong or if that was how it was supposed to sit. Lupin returned that night to see Goemon with a pillow over his lap, too stubborn to take the packer out due to his unsureness if that was just how things were supposed to look with the prosthetic or not. After listening to his distress, a smiling Lupin ordered a smaller 4 inch, no discount this time, and Goemon tried it. It was closer to what he might've expected. Not as heavy as the first packer, so he could wrap his fundoshi as easily as he normally did, but there was still a distinct bulge when he caught his reflection in the mirrored closet door. He was alone in the apartment for a little while so he tried adjusting it. Folding it in, or tucking it just under to rest lower on his pelvis. When he thought he got it into a place that didn't look bad, he tried sitting to get used to the feel of it being there. It was a little strange. A weight he'd never had to deal with before. He'd wondered if it might fall out if he were running or if he was in a fight, but his fundoshi seemed to grip everything evenly.

When he'd put on his hakama, he couldn't see the bulge and that made him feel more comfortable. Goemon could recognize the weight, and the knowledge of it made him feel like things were in a better spot as he got used to wearing it over time. He couldn't put his finger on what things were better, but he knew the moment when it had become second nature to place the packer in it's spot before the last fabric strip of his fundoshi went into a knot.

He sat on the edge of the bed and rolled his very unusable packer in his hands. It'd been several years since he'd gotten it, and he's surprised it's lasted this long without this incident happening sooner. They dodged a lot of bullets when running from a heist. Maybe he was lucky, but he didn't feel lucky now. Did the site Lupin purchased this from still sell them in this color? What about the weight or the material? Then there was the more embarrassing exchange he'd have to have prior to this purchase.

How was he supposed to say he got shot in the dick without either of his partners bursting into laughter? It was impossible. Their humor became vulgar at the drop of a hat, and the jokes at his expense for something silly like this would not go unsaid. Yet, this didn't feel silly. He'd have to go a little while without until a replacement came in, and he could already feel his mood souring at the thought of waiting. Sighing, Goemon redressed himself, already missing the familiar weight, and picked up the bullet as well as the packer to march back into the living room.

The conversation that was heated prior to his discovery seemed to have ended with Lupin giving Jigen a foot rub. Jigen's hat sat low on his head, his jacket forgone as his arms splayed across the back of the couch. Lupin was sat on the edge of the coffee table, his jacket somewhere out of sight while making faces at the gunman while his fingers dug into flat arches.

"Um," Goemon started only to immediately get the curious gaze of Lupin and a tilt up of a hat from Jigen. His heart stuttered in his chest from how quickly he'd gotten their full attention, but he kept his hands at his sides, the contents hidden by his hakama as if he'd broken something and didn't want to reveal what yet. Maybe he was silent for too long, because Jigen's hat was completely tipped up now revealing both his eyes and Lupin's hands had stopped moving on Jigen's foot.

Goemon tried again swallowing the spit that built up in his mouth. This really shouldn't be so difficult. "I was shot."

Both of his partners sat up, their confusion morphing into worry. He could already feel Lupin's eyes wandering over him trying to gauge the point of injury while Jigen was pulling his foot from Lupin's hands to stand on his feet. Before either could start asking him questions, Goemon held out his packer and the bullet. He waited a beat for the laughter he expected, but none came.

"Let's see the damage," Lupin had climbed over the couch for the brief moment Goemon's eyes had closed with the reveal. "Didn't pierce through?"

"I- no, it did not," Goemon replied.

"Wow, this thing was sturdy." Lupin took the prosthetic giving it a slight squeeze and said, "Same size yeah? I can order one now, but we'll have to ship it to Fujiko. No mail comes out here."

He felt more irritated at the knowledge, but knew there was nothing he could do to change that. "That's fine. Will it be...the same?"

"Hopefully. Some people change their product quality based on reviews, so we'll have to see when it gets here."

Right. That made sense. This one lasted so long though it would be out of the ordinary for the shop to change the quality to be worse instead of better. Still, he'd likely be going a couple weeks without and the more he dwelled on the idea the more he felt off kilter. Almost like he was on a chair but one of the legs was a couple centimeters too short.

"I am surprised you are not laughing. I assumed this situation would be humorous for you both." That isn't to say Goemon wasn't relieved that they didn't crack any jokes, but he was still shocked.

"I don't think it'd be very funny if I got shot in the dick, so why would I laugh at you for it? Fujiko on the other hand," Jigen started to snicker.

"Hey, you leave Fujiko's dick out of this!" Lupin huffed. "I miss her, but I do appreciate the excuse to go see her despite the unpleasant circumstances."

"Okay maybe not the shaft, maybe just like barely the tip, bullet grazing by and giving her a burn or something," Jigen wasn't quite laughing, but the grin on his face meant he was getting close.

"Not one hair on her should ever be harmed if I have anything to say about it."

Goemon's shoulders slowly relaxed at their familiar bickering, but he couldn't do anything but frown when looking at his packer.

"Hey."

Goemon raised his head to catch Lupin's eye.

"I have some new socks still in the package. I can show you how to wrap them like I used to while you wait for the replacement. If you want that is."

"I would like that, yes. Thank you." It wouldn't be the same for a little while, but he could manage. He gave Lupin a small smile which was returned with a bigger goofier one.

"Great. Come on, I'll show you how to ball 'em up." Lupin glanced at the trash can and Goemon got apprehensive for some reason before the thief asked, “How about we get a little box to put this in? As a keepsake?”

“Yes, thank you...again.” Goemon felt some relief at the option as he was handed back his packer, the bullet tossed into the little trash can.

Lupin took his free hand and led them down the hall. “Now, you’re not allergic to polyester are you? Cause we gotta get a few socks to make things look right, and the last thing you need to be doing is chafing down there.”

"Only do half of what he says! He always tries to give himself a monster cock on the first date. That's how he got me!" Jigen called out to their retreating backs.

"Is that true?" Goemon asked.

"Shut up, Jigen!"

**Author's Note:**

> if you need any additional tags to be added please let me know


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